I’ve been vaguely interested in water fountains for a long time and have gotten into the habit of conducting an evaluation of each one I encounter. For this reason, I have for years kept the idea of ranking every one of Potomac’s water fountains as a sort of grand plan in the back of my mind. A few weeks ago, I finally started.

Before I get into my results, a few notes: 

I’m ranking drinking fountains, not water bottle fillers (nearly every person who I’ve explained the experiment to has assumed that I was ranking the latter) because I’m only qualified to rank what I actually use. Since my backpack is eleven years old (older than some fifth graders!), its water bottle holders have long been stretched past the point of usefulness, and I must rely on drinking fountains for my mid-day hydration. This is my sole area of expertise.

Additionally, I’d like to note that this was not a project for a statistics class, and I have zero training in statistics. Please judge my spreadsheet and findings with this in mind.

Methodology:

I gave each water fountain a completely subjective score from one to ten in the following categories: taste, flow, and temperature. Using these three values, I created a “water score” with the taste score weighted at forty percent and the flow and temperature scores weighted at thirty percent each. From there, I added additional bonuses based on a few criteria that the water score doesn’t capture. I added .1 to the score for each additional fountain in a cluster past the first one, I added .2 to the score if there was a water bottle filler attached or adjacent to the fountain, and I added .3 to the score if the fountain was an Elkay EZ model (explanation below). The “water score” plus these modifiers, if applicable, create the “composite score.”

Everyone who really knows water fountains knows that the Elkay EZ model is the best. These fountains warrant a score bonus because of their convenient side buttons, well-angled spout, and a myriad of other advantages.

Results:

The fountain in the hallway leading out to the track (i.e. by the Panther Pit and Chester Gym) earned the highest “composite score,” as well as the highest “water score” with a 9.34 and 9.04, respectively. It is an Elkay EZ model, and I can only describe the temperature as perfect, which doesn’t necessarily mean the coldest water fountain. What really sets the water fountain in the track hallway apart is the fact that it’s refreshing on a hot day without making you any colder on a cold day and poses virtually zero risk of brain freeze. This is all in addition to high scores in both taste and flow. 

I need to put a bit of an asterisk on the lowest scoring fountain because it’s not really a fountain. In the spirit of drinking water from wall fixtures, I decided to drink straight from a spigot on the outer wall of Chester Gym next to the track (very close to a broken water fountain, which I suppose one could also consider the lowest scoring), and its extremely high water pressure resulted in more water ending up on my clothes than in my mouth. Although its taste and temperature were middling, the spigot’s terrible flow score put it comfortably into last place.

If we exclude the spigot, the water fountain in the Upper School Science Hallway (Upper School Building basement) had the lowest “composite score.” The flow was so poor that my lips were dangerously close to touching the nozzle. Not only this, but there is some green buildup on it (see below) which is a bit off-putting. Unfortunately, this is the only water fountain on the floor, so there isn’t really a better alternative unless you think that going upstairs to the English Hallway is worth the trip. Even knowing it’s not ideal, I still use this one if I need some water during Physics.

The experiment definitely was not as thorough as I would have liked, and I hope to continue updating my data in the future. For example, I simply did not have the time or motivation to try every single water fountain in the school. While I believe that I covered nearly every one in the Upper School, and all the other ones that Upper Schoolers frequently use, I settled for just one fountain in the IS, one in the Lower School, and two in Spangler. I would have liked to try some water from the Middle School village, but I never had an excuse to go in there, and it felt a bit too awkward to ask someone to let me in so I could review the water fountains.

Now, you may think that this data collection is completely useless, but it has proved helpful to me exactly once. I went to go get a sip of water during my Latin class, and as I was walking to the one under the stairs in the East Building, which is where I usually go during Latin, I realized that the track hallway was equidistant and had a “composite score” 2.39 points higher. Knowing this, I pushed past the “Upper Schoolers not allowed in Chester Gym between 8:15 and 2:45” sign and enjoyed a far superior drinking experience. 

Future research will hopefully include pH testing, an expedition into the Middle School Village, and maybe even bringing in some outside experts to test the water bottle fillers, as well.

Please check out my running spreadsheet if you want to look more closely at the data and email me at [email protected] if you have any water fountain related questions, niche water fountains for me to review, or suggestions about how to improve my methodology.