Road trips are a quintessential American break activity: driving cross-country, driving to the beach, driving to grandma’s, and driving to escape the repetition of the mundane activity we call everyday life. But, if one is not prepared correctly, road trips can soon turn into seemingly endless hours of H-E-double-hockey-sticks. 

Nutrition

The night before a road trip is the perfect time to try that super spicy Indian dish you’ve never had before. Make sure to only have that left in your fridge so you have no other option. Experimenting with new foods makes the road trip more exciting!

Clothes

When going on a roadtrip, the clothes you choose to put on are of the utmost importance. The trick that I use is just to close my eyes and grab something random. This way, when I arrive at my destination eight hours later, I still have the clothes that I found at four in the morning. Works every time. 

Navigation 

It is a universal truth that all navigation apps are designed by the government to make you late. Think about it: there is no way you need all of those tolls. You following the navigation is single-handedly funding the forceful takeover of Mars. So, it is EXTREMELY important NOT to use them. Even better, check it and purposely do the opposite of what it says. It can get you there in two hours? No. That’s a lie. It takes seven hours, and anything that says otherwise is a scam. 

Rest Stops

The best rest stops are the ones without names. “Maryland House Rest Stop”? No way. A true American road trip experience is getting off at a random exit, using the bathroom in a sketchy 7-11, and getting Funyuns and a Coke in the convenience shop. There is truly no other way. 

The Sights 

EVERY possible stop on a road trip simply must be taken. Largest Ball of Gum? See it. Tallest Cat Statue? Check it out. First Electric Cotton Candy Machine? Is that even a question? Mount Rushmore? Ehhh, that’s alright. You don’t really need to see that. South Dakota has much more interesting things to see anyways. 

Vehicles 

Of course, the vehicle in which one chooses to set out on this adventure is quite important. There are a couple of options for transportation, but the top two are the old car that has been handed down at least three times and the RV that you bought from your neighbor’s cousin’s friend’s brother. No other vehicle is suitable for an endeavor of such magnitude. 

Driver

Being a road trip driver is a rite of passage, and it is an unspoken rule that the youngest and least experienced driver should do it. The best time to go on the highway is when you can barely see out the back due to the duffel bags, your younger siblings are screaming, and your dad is encouraging you to drive faster so that he can make it home in time to watch the game. It is truly an experience you will never forget.  

Following these tips will certainly help you have the most exciting and memorable road trip of your life!