The 10 worst things about online school
April 30, 2020
- Parents. Did everyone born before 1980 forget how to knock? No mom, I don’t need food during my 9:40 class. I ate during A block.
- Unstable Internet. “This is critical so make sure you are listeni…” and then the Wi-Fi cuts off.
- Lack of bells. The number of times I chill on my bed during lunch, check my phone, and then realize that I am 5 minutes late to my G block class is ridiculous.
- Seeing yourself on your screen. Is my hair really that long? Do I really look like that? Or is it just the camera on my brand new Macbook Pro? Must be a crappy camera. Or should I shave my head?
- Eating during class. Don’t get me wrong, when you have food it is amazing. But when you are starving and you see your classmate eating a filet mignon with a side of mashed potatoes complete with a desert and La Croix?
- Siblings. Either you are now best friends, or you are enjoying the benefits of being an only child.
- Unmuted mics. Imagine this. You are sitting in a comfy chair, listening to Mr. von Glahn’s soothing voice talk to you about World War II propaganda. You are living your best life. Then someone coughs on their unmuted mike. A blaring sound shaking you out of your perfect euphoria.
- Canceled sports. You’re telling me that my only form of entertainment is the Pulse’s movie bracket where Forest Gump was voted the greatest movie of all time? And the Academy Award winner for Best Picture, Parasite, lost to Leo and all his friends doing cocaine on Wall Street? Oh god, I would almost rather be at Friday assembly.
- Knowing nothing. Is it Tuesday? Or Friday? I have no clue. How much longer is corona going to be around? A month? A year? Hey, what a surprise! No one knows!
- Senior Spring. Seniors don’t get to experience the best part of their Upper School lives, like going to Mexico to… experience a foreign culture.
