As we all know, on Wednesday, the 8th of January, the Potomac community experienced a historic “missed snow day.” With massive delays and several close calls while driving to Potomac, the community was befuddled by this snuffing out of a near record-breaking three consecutive snow days, because surely breaking a snow day record is more important than a day of learning could ever be. With such a massive upheaval from community members, The Current tasked your correspondents with uncovering why this controversial missed snow day came to be (especially given FCPS’s four and ⅓ days off). With intense investigative journalism and thousands of interviews completed, we were shocked to find that there were several genuine reasons for the no-snow-day decision, and not just one really simple, obvious one. 

For your convenience, we have compiled an extremely accurate list of the “Seven Reasons” why the Potomac School campus remained open on January 8th.

Reason #1: Potomac Athletics desperately wanted to train their long-awaited bobsled team. While most people may not be aware, Potomac has recently undertaken a top-secret project to develop a groundbreaking bobsled team in the DMV. The Potomac bobsled team, coached by The Current’s Mr. (Gaffer) Pennisi, is on track to become the school’s first-ever sports team to win a national championship. With enough snow to bobsled, it was of vital importance to have school so that the team would have a chance to practice before their “big competition” in the not-so-near future. If you want to know how it was possible to collect the funds to build the course, just think about it. There’s a reason Spangler doesn’t have an actual indoor track or a swimming pool. 

Reason #2: Flint Hill hacked Ms. Sevier’s account. As we all know, the Flint Hill-Potomac rivalry is intense, with the well-known climax being the unfortunate Llama Incident of 2018. We are unsure of the exact motive behind hacking into Ms. Sevier’s account and sending a normal school day arrival (perhaps ask Varsity Boys Soccer, Varsity Girls Tennis, Varsity Girls Volleyball, Varsity Golf, Cross Country, and Varsity Girls Field Hockey, all of whom beat Flint Hill in the fall 2024 season). What we do know, however, is that it was an extremely devious act that will not be forgotten anytime soon.

Reason #3: Head of School, Mr. Kowalik, wanted to try out his recently fixed four-wheel drive vehicle. We all appreciate Mr. Kowalik’s enthusiasm for his readjusted four-wheel drive, which he doesn’t get to test out very often. The Current, of course, agrees with “I Drive Smart” in that it is extremely important to test all crucial functions of your car on a regular basis, so when an opportunity presents itself, why not jump on it? The Current approves of your decision, Mr. Kowalik.

Reason #4: Potomac wanted to road-test their new hover-buses. As one can imagine, traditional school buses are extremely difficult to drive in the snow; luckily, Potomac has recently invested in several deluxe hover-buses. However, because the hover-buses had never been used before, they experienced extreme malfunctions. Clearly, Mr. Kowalik did not share his vehicle-testing know-how with the entire administration. Since the hover-buses didn’t arrive in time, and not wanting to cause havoc and confusion, no snow day email was sent. Instead, the Storm-Stop Schedule was quickly adjusted for the first time since 1904, so that everyone could arrive in normal buses at the start of the day. 

Reason #5: To end the vicious rumor that Potomac is in Fairfax County. Though most people would say that Potomac is in McLean, which is a part of Fairfax County, Potomac is actually in a different county: The County of The Potomac School. This distinction has many benefits, such as our own road, and it also means that Potomac is not obligated to declare a snow day when the neighboring counties of Fairfax and Arlington have one. The County of The Potomac School, wanting to put itself on the map in Northern Virginia, made the extraordinarily bold decision to be the only school in NoVA not to cancel school on the 8th. Hopefully, this strategic move will work out, and the next time someone thinks of Northern Virginia, they will immediately think of The County of The Potomac School: the county that bravely decided to open its doors on that fateful day in January. 

Reason #6: The Potomac community needs to begin acclimatizing to climate change when we won’t have any snow days anyway. With warmer temperatures on the horizon, in part due to the excess fuel used by the hover buses, the Potomac administration decided that it was of the utmost importance to ease their students into future school years with no snow days. So in reality, they’re looking out for us! 

Reason #7: To show solidarity with our cultural exchange partners, the students of the American School of Moscow, who also don’t get snow days either, even when it snows more than eighty feet. As many of you may not know, Potomac recently partnered with the American School of Moscow (not to be confused with the Anglo-American School of Moscow). Our friends overseas are regularly deprived of snow days; when they see that we have snow days, they cry, and their tears freeze, causing long-term physical and emotional damage. To show the deepest respect, humility, integrity, perseverance, and courage, our very own Potomac administration decided to cancel our third snow day in solidarity with the Russian children who are deprived of hundreds of snow days on a weekly basis.

As you can see, although the majority of students disagreed with the decision made by the school administration, many valid reasons (that you, reader, may or may not appreciate) went into the decision. We sincerely hope that there will be many more Potomac Varsity Bobsled Team practices. Unless, of course, that comes at the cost of another missed snow day.