Construct-ive Criticism


Natalie Roots-Nowakowski

Byers, Patrick (2005-). Stack of Hats. circa 2021

Natalie Roots-Nowakowski, Staff Writer

Over the past few weeks, a peculiar memento of the Potomac community has reappeared: the plastic hardhats. Inscribed with our beloved insignia, these hardhats were used for the groundbreaking ceremony of The Spangler Center for Community and Athletics over two years ago, but they are now being spotted around the Upper School.

Originally discovered in a large stack in the Science hallway, they’ve been placed on and seized off of students’ heads daily. In fact, even some “ussies” have been taken with these caps. However, the rising popularity of these hardhats forces us to ask the imperative question: are they really just a fashion statement, or are they protecting against something? Just like wearing a mask under your nose, these are very physically protective. Yet, there may be more to discover under the hood. Clearly, these hats were an absolutely crucial purchase, so with a sudden recurrence at the exact time that we are finally getting acclimated to our classes, we must question their unprecedented existence. 

“The hardhats must be tracking our every move. What’s next? A Potomac social credit system?” Junior Nathan Arundel states. 

He has a very logical point. Is Potomac trying to microchip us again, just like with the security IDs? We all believe in the power of our intellect, so if this is giving any unauthorized assistance, then these plastic bowls must go straight to the Honor Council. All we can do is continue to be conscious (if possible) of the possible danger that these 100% environmentally friendly, vegan, compostable, hardhats may impose. Stay safe. Hatters gonna hat.