Breaking News: Mr. Morgan and Ms. Petro save the day after Mr. McLane runs out of colors


Bob Ross

As all of you are well aware, we students have had the privilege of being blessed by Mr. McLane’s creative genius in selecting colors for Covid-19 school plans. For example, we began the year with a beautiful crimson red, a color that accurately reflected the teachers’ moods after discovering they would have to suffer through yet another year of breakout rooms and turned-off cameras. Weeks later, the school transitioned into the “Orange Plan,” a cruel reminder of the orange slices we would no longer enjoy after sporting events. Fortunately, bumblebee yellow came to the rescue and brought us all together as a community and family. Perhaps Mr. McLane’s most impressive feat yet, however, was his bold —sassy even— decision to label the next hybrid learning mode the “chartreuse plan.” 

“Though I was pushing for more of a shamrock green, I am willing to admit that chartreuse was the better choice after all. I didn’t know if Mr. McLane had the ‘pizzazz’ to go through with it at first, but after seeing the flawless execution of the green plan, I am thoroughly impressed,” said Helen Butler, administrative assistant to the head of the Upper School.

Unfortunately, in a tragic turn of events, Mr. McLane has finally run out of colors. After flying through red, orange, yellow, and green, he is at a loss.

“I’m not sure what happened to me. I was really on a hot streak there with red, orange, yellow, and green when all of a sudden my mind just went blank,” he said. 

Hope, however, is not lost yet. Mr. Morgan reached out to Mr. McLane and offered his artistic expertise. After weeks of tireless exploration in the field of colorimetry, Mr. Morgan began working with Ms. Laura Petro, Upper School science teacher and chemistry wizard, who offered her insight. Working together, they came to the conclusion that the human eye is simply too limited to express the emotions and feelings Mr. McLane wants to convey in his latest schedule. As a result, they decided that the next color to come will be none other than infrared.

“Mr. Morgan and I were constantly travelling back and forth between the chemistry labs and the art studio, working tirelessly to find the school’s next color. After many sleepless nights, we had the eye-opening realization that the only color worthy enough of representing Potomac’s next plan was a color we couldn’t even see,” Ms. Petro said.

Though not visible to the human eye, infrared conveys juniors’ inability to see that they are not actually good at parking. Infrared, a color so beautiful we can’t even see it, is the only color strong enough to reflect the sheer power behind having three grades attend in-person school for five days a week. What’s to come in the fall remains to be seen, but with the last three colors of the rainbow still available, I am certain that Mr. McLane will amaze us all.